I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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