At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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