I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Randomize