she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
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