Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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