The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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