I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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