I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
