are you still at the devil's house?
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
