Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
