I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Randomize
