what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
