So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
