im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
