You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
