So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
