Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize
