you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
