Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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