8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
