I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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