addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize