ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Randomize
