either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
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