so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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