try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
