Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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