He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
