fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
