11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
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