So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
