So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Randomize
