I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Randomize
