Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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