Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Randomize
