I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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