My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
