So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
