I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
