I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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