I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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