I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Randomize
