i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
