i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
