its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
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