Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
