You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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