We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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