Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
