The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
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