He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
